09/26/2008
About my possible job at Oregon State
- Me: Well, but you can't fault me for having OSU school spirit already.
- D: Are you going to buy an orange and black suit for your interview?
- Me: I may wear one of those "We kicked USC's Ass" t-shirts under my dress shirt. Then in the middle of the interview I'll say... "wait wait, check this out" and then I'll open my shirt like superman.
- D: I think you've already sealed the deal.
09/25/2008
West Coast Panic
As I continue completing job applications I paused to really ponder the idea of me moving to the west coast and I panic! It’s so scary, as if I were moving to another continent. Oregon, California… will they be nice? and how do they watch TV when the time is all messed up? (jk) and it’s just so far from the east coast and everything I know. But then I think, so far from what? I have no ties to the east coast. I have no kids, no family, an ex-wife that might as well live in china, no home. I don’t even have that much shit since I my ex kept the house with all the furniture. I have a car, a bed, a bike and 1/2 set of dishes. I can go. I can live in Oregon. Sure I can. They’ll be nice. I’ll feel at home. It’ll be ok.09/24/2008
09/23/2008
09/22/2008
Recipe for disaster
1 year post-separation anniversary
25 insanely stressful unfinished job applications
1 balance sheet worse than AIG’s
1 close presidential election
0 Ambien pills left
Let simmer till fully reduced.
09/21/2008
cvxn:
The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Palin is a ‘Post Turtle.’”
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.
The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle.’”
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. “You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, and she doesn’t know what to do while she’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of dummy put her up there to begin with.”
09/20/2008
The case for John McCain
I often sit to ponder why is this election so close? Who are these people holding up signs of McCain at his rallies? So here is my attempt to stereotype you and my thoughts about you. And yes, I’m not open-minded and I’m far from tolerant of conservative ideation. So here it is:1. McCain will ban abortion and gay rights.
Fine. If you are a religious fundamentalist and abortion or gay rights trumps all other issues, I understand your position. I can’t argue with your choice for McCain.
2. McCain will lower my taxes and Obama will raise them.
Are you rich? No? Then you are an idiot for buying this argument.
3. Obama will socialize medicine like in they do in Uganda.
You are an idiot.
4. I am a racist and I hate Obama.
Fine. I can’t argue with your choice for McCain.
5. I have 1.2 million in the back and the republicans are better for millionaires like me.
Fine. I can’t argue with that.
6. I’m a true fiscal conservative and believe in conservative economic policies.
Fine. But, how in the heck do you explain the last 8 years? Were they not conservative enough?
7. I like McCain plan for change more than Obama’s.
You are an idiot. There is nothing about McCain’s plan that is change. Giving more tax cuts to the rich does not constitute change. It constitutes a deepening of Bush’s policies. Bush changed Clinton’s economy by 1. Lowering taxes for the rich and corporations. 2. Reducing regulation. McCain’s plan? 1. Lowering taxes for the rich and corporations even further. 2. More unregulated free market (see his position on health care for example). So if you believe that this is the best solution, fine! But if you think this is “change’, then you are an idiot.
8. I don’t know, I just like McCain more than Obama.
You are the biggest idiot.
So if you are racist, religious fundamentalist, or a true philosophical conservative, then I can’t blame you for voting for McCain. We will never see eye-to-eye, but fine, McCain is your man. BUT If you support McCain for any other reason, you are a complete moron.
McCain, this week on an article published in Contingencies
He is really his worst nightmare. Seriously. If I were his campaign director I would simply say “just shut up and don’t open your mouth until after the election.”
09/19/2008
Fear
The one thing that terrifies me the most about not knowing where I will be in 10 months, is the likely probability that I will have to move to a place without a trader joes. Is it even possible to have such life?really, 4 years of the same, stupidity.
The more I listen to McCain the more I realize that Obama’s campaign slogan (can’t afford more of the same) extends from policy to now… stupidity. Seriously. And yesterday was just another example. During an interview with a spanish speaking radio station he was asked whether he would meet with Spain’s president Zapatero in the White House. He said:
I would be willing to meet with those leaders who are friends and want to work with us in a cooperative fashion. And by the way President Calderone of Mexico is fighting a very, very tough fight against the drug cartels
The reporter probably thought WTF? so she asked again
Would that invitation be extended to the Zapatero government? To the president himself?
And here goes Mr. last in my graduation class….
Well, again, I don’t — All I can tell you is I have a clear record of working with leaders in the hemisphere that are friends with us and standing up to those who are not. And that’s judged on the basis of the importance of our relationship with Latin America and the entire region.
And the reporter made one final attempt by saying exasperated:
OK, what about Europe? I’m talking about the president of Spain.
To which Mr. Brains responded:
What about me what?
Holly mother of god. There are two theories. The most likely true…. that McCain had no idea who Zapatero was and thought it was another latin american president. Or that McCain was taking a hard line stance against Spain. So his campaign, avoiding having to apologize for McCain stupidity, chose the second option and took a hard-line stance against Spain. SPAIN! Yes, Nato member, paella loving, ally, Spain! Why? because they pulled the soldiers out of Iraq. WTF, at least they had soldiers in Iraq fighting next to ours. 99% of the rest of the world didn’t even want to join us in the first place. Jesus! This is truly unbelievable.
